When does the crying stop?

No not the baby. She is sleeping peacefully. Me.

I have always been a crier. I cry at movies, especially Disney cartoon movies but I mean who didn’t cry when Bambi’s mom got shot? Disney are some sick F*ck’s putting that in a baby movie. Oprah could make me cry sometimes. Just thinking of certain sad things can set me off with the water works. I definitely think a good cry can be therapeutic.

Lately (since I first got knocked up that is), the weepiness has been out of control. Of course Oprah made me cry like 5 times this year. I’ve been avoiding Disney movies. Sometimes I’ve just needed to cuddle my baby to ward off the tears. Yesterday, I literally had to stop my train of thought and completely change what I was thinking of to avoid crying. Today, I completely freaked out at Hubby and had to yell at him to stop talking. I’m minding my own business, feeding angel baby, when in he walks and just starts telling me about this horrendous case of animal abuse. I tell him I don’t want to randomly hear about extreme cruelty to greyhounds that goes on in Spain when I can barely stand what they do to race dogs here. He continues to tell me horrible things so I had no choice but to scream at him. He then looks at me like I am insane and tries to say that he just wanted to tell me about one dog getting rescued from blah blah blah and tries to explain the abuse again! Needless to say I hollered at him again and he finally got the point. I was on the verge of tears during all this.

I know what is going to happen next. I am going to be sitting in class, suddenly his awful story is going to pop into my head, and I’m going to look like a crazy lady who bursts into tears for no reason in the middle of school.

So I ask, when does the crying stop?!? And for that matter, when does the ridiculous hair loss stop too? I am shedding so much I have broken the vacuum.

Cloth Diapers part 3

Have I mentioned I’m cloth diaper obsessed? There will probably be a part 4 as well.

I have been using some of the Flip diapers, the regular soaker inserts. They worked pretty well at first. I have been following the instructions on the label which simply say to wash hot and tumble dry on low. I have been drying them on high heat actually though. Suddenly they have started leaking! I decided to test one out overnight. I changed angel baby at about 11 pm and we laid down for her last night feeding. Half way through I realize she has peed through the diaper, through the cover, through her pj’s, and onto the sheets! I get her re-diapered and changed then move on to changing my bed sheets. Ugh. We were up until about 1230-1 am by the time all was said and done and we were actually sleepy again.

I was extremely pissed at the Flip diapers. They are only about 2 months old and should not be leaking. I had to strip them (wash them in Dawn dish soap). It seems too soon to already have to be stripping them. Come to find out ALL Free and Clear can cause build up on them. So I either have to wash them separate, which I don’t have enough of them to justify their own load, not use them, or strip them every other month. It is crazy how all these expensive cloth diapers out there have all sorts of special instructions and limitations that void the warranty. The simple cotton birdseye weave pre-folds I got for 6 for $9 are turning out to be the best option. Cotton- soaks up the messes, wash however you want, dry on high. One down side is that they might not wick moisture off her bottom quite as good as some other materials, that’s debatable though. I can’t wait to learn to sew and start making my own! Any material and care instructions I want!

A day in the life

I had been warned that I did not want my purely breast fed baby to only poop once a week as some of them do. Apparently, on this one day a week that your baby decides to poop, it is non-stop pooping! I had a small experience with this today. Angel baby had a massive crap this morning after about 3 days sans poo, possibly another diaper stainer. I was glad it was while we were at home. We went out for the morning and ended up using the diapers I had brought along in the diaper bag. I had to run to the bank before we went home. The diaper she was wearing would suffice and I planned to change her out of what would then be a wet diaper when we got home. I pulled into the bank parking lot and no sooner did I turn off the engine then I heard the second massive poop of the day. Normally I would have just changed her in the back of the car but as I mentioned, no more clean diapers with me. I run into the bank to make a quick deposit. Of course there is a line. My turn. Nope. This teller can’t help me and I have to wait for the teller already helping the woman who needs 10 different things done. Finally my turn, I’m done in a minute and back out to the car. We head home, a quick trip as our city is small. Nope. We get stuck at the railroad crossing for a middle of the afternoon freight train. Finally I’m home. I open the diaper and just see a small streak. Oh must have sounded worse than it was. Nope. The blow out is behind her butt. I am ill prepared. Poop on the changing table, poop on the baby butt, poop on the baby foot, and I sprayed the wipe solution on her outfit so that also needed to be changed. This was one of those times when most people are capable of going to the bank and changing their baby without getting stuck behind the longest line, stuck waiting for an on-coming train, and stuck with hidden poop, but not me.

Gluten What

I am slowly attempting to go gluten free. This all started because of the Elimination Diet I tried for breastfeeding. I noticed I felt better, less bloated and seemed to have more energy. The energy thing didn’t make much sense because I was sleeping less, so I attributed it to not having any wheat. The Elimination Diet for Breastfeeding is extreme, pears and sweet potatoes and brown rice oh my. Gluten free is going to be harder because flour is in many things and companies add gluten to almost everything as a thickening agent. It is also going to be expensive, $4.39 for 1 lb 6 oz of all purpose gluten free flour.

I made a gluten free pizza crust for dinner tonight. It was edible but not super tasty. I think I should have split the dough into 2 crusts instead of just 1, I don’t think it cooked quite long enough. I am on my second attempt at gluten free brownies. The first were super dry. The second batch just came out of the oven so we will see but I think I put too much oil in them (over compensating for the dryness of the first batch).

I have really gotten into making homemade things. I just need to channel this into cooking and I think I will be ok. Most of the time when I’m eating at home I prefer fresh veggies, fruit and cheese anyway so I just need to stick with that to avoid this nasty, man made side effect of wheat known as gluten.

well they look yummy

Diaper Destroyer Extraordinaire

Normally I get Angel Baby up at 11pm, do a quick diaper change, then feed her as we lay in bed together. We then drift off to a peaceful sleep. Well tonight her butt had other plans. She destroyed 4 diaper covers before I could even get them on her. She managed to pee on the outside of 3 and poo on the outside of a 4^th. I lost count of how many actual diapers we went through at around 5. She is on her 3^rd set of pajamas. I now have her diapered up so thick that I just dare her to try to destroy this one. Here it is 1230, we are both wide awake, there are diapers in the wash and covers hanging to dry. Luckily we are both night owls.

World Breastfeeding Week

Yay it is World Breastfeeding Week! Wait…just a week? Why don’t we get a whole month? Breastfeeding has been around since people have walked the earth. It is the universal way for mothers to feed their babies, no matter your culture, economic class, or location if you are a mom you have the potential to breastfeed. Yet we only get a week. And who decided this week should be in August? August is the hottest most miserable month, especially if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. Trust me I have done both, or don’t trust me and ask any mom who has been through either during August. It is hot enough without having a swollen preggo belly or swollen milk filled breasts and a warm little baby snuggled up to them.

There is a Big Latch on Event going on, see the link if you want some info. http://www.biglatchon.org/everything-you-want-to-know.html I won’t be attending but thought I would share the info. The site also has more info on World Breastfeeding Week. I found out about this from the La Leche League meeting I attended this week. I enjoy going to the meetings for the comradary and socialization. The topic this week was How Breastfeeding Saves the World. A bit extreme perhaps. I’m all for breastfeeding and think it is the best option, but I also think to each his own. Women have their own reasons for choosing how to feed their own child and have the right to do that. I think it is a shame if women choose formula b/c they are misinformed or embarrassed by breastfeeding. That is why I attend the La Leche League meetings, I am in support of making breastfeeding acceptable and common but not to force it on others or demonize formula. I feel like the meetings should end with us chanting “Breast is best! Breast is best!”.

I have not had a problem feeling shy or embarrassed about breastfeeding in public, or felt that it was unacceptable. The first time I was out and about and had to breastfeed was when we were running errands, my husband went to get his haircut and I sat in the car to feed angel baby. I went to the car b/c it was the best place considering the shopping plaza we were at didn’t have a coffee shop or anything like that. The next time we were out and I mentioned that we could stop in a diner so I could breastfeed and my husband responded with “why don’t you do it in the car?”, I gave him a look that said you better rethink what you just said to me before it causes a divorce. I refused to let him be embarrassed about me feeding our baby in public, he has not had an issue since. I am in support of helping other women have this type of confidence.

I love breastfeeding my baby girl and am glad we get at least a week of acknowledgement.

I'm Better Than You.

Lately I have been feeling high and mighty. I recently celebrated my 7^th anniversary with my husband, we have been together 10 years now. Most people my age still can’t manage a relationship let alone one since they were 18. Nahnanana I’m better than you.
I love being a mom. Everything about it has come easy for me. My pregnancy was fantastic, I did not have any morning sickness, heartburn or sleep problems. I only gained 23 pounds. Nahnanana I’m better than you. My baby girl is amazing. She is perfect. She is the light of my life. She sleeps great, during naps and through the night. She breastfeeds like a champ and also had no problem taking a bottle of breast milk. Nahnanana She is better than you. I have had basically no issues at all with breastfeeding. I’ve been to meetings and read blogs about how difficult it is and how moms need support and help to be able to breast feed. Well, my baby latched on right after she was born like she had been doing it all her life. We were a match made in heaven. My nipples were sensitive for about a week, a bit of lanolin and some soothies took care of that. Now they are primed and ready for action. Nahnanana I’m better than you. It is a shame that some moms have such issues with breastfeeding or think it is not natural and that a support group is the only way they can get through it. It has come natural to me and I love it as does my angel baby. Being a mother has come natural to me in general. I have been doing what my instincts tell me to and what I feel is right for my family. I followed a link today to the Dr. Sears site about how to be a natural parent. I felt like I should have written the page on natural parenting because the advice on there has been what I decided on my own to do. It is a shame that some parents out there have no clue on how to follow their natural instincts and need a “method” to follow, whether it be natural parenting or ferberizing or take your new baby into the woods and not let anyone else near him as you live in a bubble. I do not feel the need to tell anyone else how to be a mom or judge them for their choices. I do however feel the need to say that I am better than you nahnanana.

*Disclaimer: if you don’t like this post, please see my last post as an explanation. Also, this post will probably come back to bite me in the ass as my life falls apart due to karma for bragging. Also, I could probably write a post 10x this long about everything that is wrong in my life.

Hormones

The joys of being a woman just keep on coming. Everyone knows that pregnant women are surging with hormones, lesser known is how the hormone levels stay out of control while breastfeeding. I think I was relatively calm during pregnancy, even the hubby will agree with this. Lately though, almost 4 months post birth, I feel like my hormones are more out of control then ever! I can’t keep one emotion in check without completely losing another. Mostly as soon as I’m content with one thing everything else seems awful to me. I get involved with things in Conway to try to settle in, then I can’t stop thinking how much I hate it here and want to move. I was thrilled with starting graduate school, now all I can think about is being a stay at home mom.

I want to make baby clothes, knit and crochet blankets and hats, make baby food, take pictures, and cloth diaper. I love the free time I have to be with my baby and create things for her. I love being up to date on the latest baby trends and researching cloth diapers. I have been entering the Thirsties giveaways each week. Thirsties is one of the cloth diaper brands I use. They are great because I was able to use them early on even when my girl was so tiny that most other brands were too big for her. They are still the best trim fit for her. This week Thirsties is giving away 2 Duo Wraps, 2 Hemp Prefolds, and 2 Duo Stay Dry Inserts. Follow the link below to enter.

My mommy hormones are in overdrive. I love being with my baby girl and taking care of her is the best part of my day. I am going to continue with my plan of starting graduate school for now though. I don’t think altering my decisions now would be the best idea. There are so many moms out there who lose themselves when they become moms. I want to devote myself to being the best mom I can be and I think that means also being the best person I can be for myself. I am going to start school at the end of the month, if after the first semester I decide it is not the right decision for me and my baby I can always rethink it once my hormones have calmed down.
http://networkedblogs.com/lfeYU

Cloth Diapers part 2!

So I have become a bit cloth diaper obsessed. Not in the pushy mom, everyone must use cloth diapers, they are the best option way; but just in an obsessed with trying them all way.

I still like the cover systems better than the AIOs (all in ones). They just seem more economical because I can use one cover for like 3 or 4 wet diapers whereas the AIOs need a new one every wet diaper. I recently added some Bummis and Flips to my stash. I have also enlisted everyone I know that can sew to make me my own personal fitted diapers. I am super excited to start getting these from people. It seems ideal, I know exactly what I want and what works best, creatively I can come up with what I want but don’t have to put the effort into making them myself! Haha suckers! Actually I have been toying with the idea of learning to sew and my cloth diaper obsession may be just what I need to motivate me.

Ok, my review of the Bummis:

I got the Super Bright and the Whisper. They are pretty similar from what I can tell. They are both diaper covers, similar to the Thirsties. I like the leg elastics on the Thirsties a little bit better. The Bummis are sized. I got a small and a medium. They are larger than the Thirsties One Size. The small fits ok but my daughter’s waist is still so small that they are a bit large. I sometimes choose them to go over bulkier hemp fitted diapers. I do like the PUL material of the Bummis better than the Thirsties, it just seems to rinse clean easier. I also got a Bummis swim diaper but haven’t had a chance to use it yet. These come in cuter patterns than the Thirsties.

The Flips:

I purchased the Flips One Size with absorbent inserts. They also have organic or disposable inserts. The size of the covers is definitely bigger than the Bummis’ and the Thirsties’. They still fit my daughter ok because they have quite a few snaps to adjust to. The rise is definitely big on my daughter. I look on the bright side that she will have room to grow into them. The cover material is thin which is great, especially in the summer. It also wipes and rinses clean really easy. The inserts are just rectangular, and have lines to indicate where to fold them over for the small and medium sizes. I really like these inserts so far because they seem super absorbent. They also seem to pull the moisture to the underneath side of them and off my daughter. I am planning on trying the disposable inserts the next time we travel.

Inserts and Prefolds:

I have also added a few more prefolds and inserts to my stash. The prefolds are nice because they are folded so there are a few layers to make them absorbent. They are a little work because you have to fold them. Go for the birdseye weave for more absorbency. I also got a few hemp prefolds and hemp fitted diapers. I really like the hemp, it seems more absorbent than just cotton.

Another brand I am interested in trying but haven’t bought yet b/c I did just purchase the Flips, Bummis and a bunch of inserts, is Grovia. I had a chance to look at the Grovia in a store (most of these I’ve just ordered online because there is nowhere near here that sells them). The covers are similar to the Flips and Thirsties. They have the disposable insert option like the Flips. The Grovia seems to one up the Flips in that the inserts snap into place and have elastic around the legs. I would really like to try this style because I think the elastic around the diaper would hold in messes and keep the cover clean longer. This is why I’m super excited to get my home made diapers, I have asked for elastic right on the diapers/inserts. Can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with for me!

There is also a wool option. Apparently wool is super absorbent, doesn’t even need a PUL cover, and is breathable. I did not want to buy the wool diapers I saw because they seemed a bit large and I just don’t care for the feel of wool so couldn’t see putting it my baby’s delicate skin.

Random Update

I seem to be all recovered from the kidney stones. I go for a follow up at the end of this week.

My mom was here for a week and the day she left my dad and his wife arrived. It was great to have them but I am glad to not have any more visitors this week. It was great for my dad to meet Sadie and sad for him to go. Sadie did so well with visitors and running around all over the place while we were on “vacation”. She is such a sweet baby.

Now that I’m feeling better, no more excuses to not exercise. I started a new exercise program yesterday and wow do my thighs hurt today! It is called Mama Wants Her Body Back. It is supposed to be designed specifically to target the areas that moms need work on from the changes their bodies go through during pregnancy. The exercises seemed good, I worked up a sweat and I’m feeling it today. My major complaint is that the increased level of difficultly involved jumping. What breastfeeding mama with her increased boob size and volume wants to jump up and down?? So I will never be able to go past level two difficulty bc ouch no jumping for me.

So I bet you have never heard of Mama Wants Her Body Back. Well neither had I, until the infromercial came on. I was in a daze laying on the couch with Sadie when it came on. Unable to muster the energy to change the channel and intrigued by a program for mamas, I watched. By the second time the phone number popped up I had to order it. Now I tried to blame this on my sleep deprived state and that it was a product for mamas but since then I have wanted to order every infromercial I have seen. Face cream, food processors, baby bullets, exercise videos etc. It is ridiculous. I already have a food processor but I want the Ninja 1100. The baby bullet is basically a small food processor but I want it too. The storage containers it comes with look amazing. I tell myself that since my magic bullet is dying it makes perfect sense to buy the baby bullet. Why on earth would anyone need 3 food processors? I don’t know but I am compelled to order them. Apparently, when Sadie was born my off switch for buying was broken. Is this a new mom symptom that no one talks about?

Kidney Stones

Oh what fun my crazy pregnancy symptoms were that I just had to keep some of them! I had an ultra sound of my kidneys and bladder during my last month of pregnancy due to some issues I had been having. I got a call from the doc just a few days after delivering that it was indeed a kidney stone. I went back to the urologist this month and had an x-ray to see the stones better. Well the doctor comes in the room, puts the x-ray on the lighted board, and exclaims “Holy Moses! Holy Moses!”, pauses to look back at me then to the x-ray again and gives me one more “Holy Moses!”. He clearly does not have a very reassuring bedside manner.
Turns out what he thought was one kidney stone is actually now 3 fairly large kidney stones. He informs me that I will require a surgery to have a stent put in to help them pass so they don’t get stuck and cause an infection. Wonderful. Just what I need with a 2 month old baby at home that I am the only one here taking care of. I think the hardest part for me to accept is that I’m going to have to pump and then throw away my breast milk because of the anesthesia. That just feels wrong. Breast milk is like the nectar of the gods. It seems like sacrilege to even think about throwing it away. (and no I am not one of those crazy women who thinks breast feeding is the only way, use formula if you want. I am too cheap to pay for something that my body creates for free!)
Hubby has 3 days off when I’m having the surgery so that is great. But since I will have to have this stent in for however long it takes them to pass (looking at a month at least I think), and most people only “tolerate” the stent, my mom is coming to stay. I’m glad she is coming and I know she is secretly happy about this whole situation so that she can come visit her grandbaby. Well keep your fingers crossed for me that I am one of the ones who can “tolerate” the stent.

Working For Me or Against Me?

I have always loved taking care of, playing with, and being around kids even when I was still basically a kid myself. I babysat when I was old enough, I’ve had jobs working with children of all different ages, I’ve even taken college courses in childhood ed. Essentially I have plenty of experience with babies, children and teens. I am wondering now if this is working for me or against me?

I know in certain ways it is working for me. I know how to care for a baby’s basic needs no problem. I can change diapers with my eyes closed. I know about developmental milestones, nutrition, safety, sleep techniques, nature vs nurture etc etc. I’ve taken care of friends babies and children. I have heard all sorts of stories and methods from them and from my working experiences. There is not much that can surprise me.

So what I am wondering is, am I maybe on information overload? With everything in my background I’ve heard of all different contradicting approaches. Plus with modern technology, if there is anything I am not sure about I can just Google it and have 100 different, and most likely contradicting, answers instantly. I sometimes wonder if I am too nonchalant about things. My baby is only 6 weeks old and I feel like she has always been here. I sometimes feel like I am not treating her like a newborn, maybe I am not pampering her enough, being gentle enough, being careful enough with where I have to take her in public. I’ve had two questions so far that I consulted my pediatrician about. The first I asked directly to him and it stumped him. The second I called the office and asked a nurse, who had never been asked that before and so it stumped her. The nurse I am not surprised about, she was young and is probably right out of some nursing program. Are my questions really that complicated or unusual? No. The pediatrician I really like though b/c he was amazing the first week Sadie was born while she was having issues with her bilirubin levels and because he admitted he had never been asked my question before, did research to get me a good answer instead of just trying to pull something out of his ass.  I have decided that I will consult them on medical issues only, take their advice with a grain of salt, and go on my own instincts for everything else. Again this brings me back to wondering if I am being too nonchalant and arrogant. Plus Sadie is an incredibly laid-back baby so she is making this way too easy on me.

I have always known I would be a mom, I am loving every minute of it, I just want to be sure I don’t miss any of it because I am too at ease with my new title of Mommy.

How do/did you feel when you were a first time mom? over prepared, overwhelmed, just right? Where did you go for answers or did you just pretend you knew exactly what you were doing and hoped no one called you on it?

Sleep Deprivation

I love sleep. I get a little cranky and crazy when I don’t get enough sleep. My body is apparently finding its own way to cope. You’ve heard of sleep walking, maybe you’ve heard of sleep eating or even sleep sex, well now there is sleep breastfeeding. I woke up in the middle of the night a few nights ago with boob out, Sadie in my arms and suckling away. I have no recollection at all of picking her up and giving her my boob. Oh well, what could I do except go with it? It worked out well for both of us.

Cloth Diapers (part 1)

I really like cloth diapering so far. I can’t exactly explain why I like it. Perhaps it’s the challenge of it. I have changed so many regular diapers, from infant to adult size, in my life that maybe it is just too easy now. That’s probably not the reason though, especially since they are not a challenge. I think part of it has to do with that when disposable diapers get wet they get so heavy and full. Also with disposable diapers, when there is a major poo explosion that goes up baby’s back it goes right on up out of the diaper. Cloth diaper covers provide a waist band around the back so they hold in that back poo explosion. Of course I like the fact that I’m not creating a ton of extra trash to go in landfills, but on the other hand I am using more water to wash the cloth diapers often.

Ok, so I had decided awhile ago that I wanted to cloth diaper but never really put in the research. I just thought I would figure it out as I went along. Not really the best plan of action. It has helped me figure out what works best for Sadiecakes though. Here is what I have tried so far and what I think. This is still a work in progress as I have more brands/styles I want to try out and it may change as she grows.

Fuzzibunz: These were highly recommended but I am not super impressed. They are a pocket diaper system. That means they have the outer shell and an inner layer with an opening at the top back of the diaper for an insert. I don’t really care for the pocket system because the inner layer gets soiled with the first wetting or poo, so the whole diaper has to go in the wash. The insert can be taken out and a new one put in but the inner layer of the diaper is soiled so no point in just changing the insert. The inserts are super absorbent so I like that. In my testing I decided to put the insert on top. This works better for me. When the diaper gets soiled, I pull the insert off the top layer and just lay the second insert in, thus extending the life of the cover. *note even though the inner layer seems to be made of the same absorbent cloth as the insert, it is not absorbent at all and without an insert they will leak and you will get peed on!! Fuzzibunz are also super bulky. They are huge on my little baby. I think even as she grows they will still be huge as they are just made that way. This brand has made a new style called Elemental that does not use the pocket system. It has the absorbent insert attached. These would again just be a one use diaper cover. Basically you would need at least 24 of either style, 12 for one day then 12 for the next while the first were in the wash. (we are not going through 12 a day but you want to be safe rather than sorry).

Pros: absorbent inserts; one size fits all adjustable; very soft inner layer against baby; adjustable leg bands, no folding.

Cons: one use per cover then they need to be washed; expensive $18-$26 depending on the style bought; very bulky; one size fits all style does not always fit all; almost forgot that the inserts pull in the washing machine so if you wash them with anything else the other clothes can end up with fuzzies on them

Thirsties: These I really like. I have been using the Thirsties Diaper Duo’s. They are basically the outer shell that holds everything in. They are water proof, have Velcro or snap closures (your choice), have elastic around the inner and outer leg and along the back, and are pretty simple. They come in size 1 or 2. They are not one size fits all b/c the company feels that those style do not truly fit all. I agree with this. I suggest the snap closures b/c as baby grows she will quickly be able to figure out how to pull open the Velcro. Thirsties require prefolds or inserts. I have mostly been using prefolds with them. Prefolds are just an absorbent cloth that you fold up and wrap around baby or stick in the cover. Prefolds do require a cover or the wetness/dampness of a peed in diaper will leak through. I have been using Gerber multi-purpose cloths but have just ordered birdseye weaved cloths as I read that they are more absorbent. I will let you know once I test them out. Prefolds can be laid in the cover flat or wrapped around baby and secured using diaper pins or snappies. I have left them flat and wrapped, both work. Pins and snappies both work as well. Hubby likes the snappies b/c then he doesn’t have to worry that he may stick Sadie with the pin. I have also been using hemp inserts. These work great on their own just for pee but as they are just a straight line sometimes a messy diaper can get around them. They also work great as a doubler. That means they are put in with the prefold, usually for overnight for extra protection. What I really like about Thirsties Diaper Duo’s is that if a really wet diaper has made them feel damp or even a little poo has gotten around the prefold onto the inside of them (I’m not talking about leaking out, just the inside) they can be wiped off with a baby wipe and quickly wiped dry with a prefold and reused. You do not have to wash after every single diaper change. I love that!

Pros: affordable $13; can be used more than once before needing to be washed; can be combined with any method of insert/prefold you prefer; easy to use; elastic around legs and back

Cons: elastic is not adjustable like the Fuzzibunz; prefolds and inserts sold separately (inserts are about $7, prefolds vary $10 for 6, Gerber $12 for 12), have to fold the prefolds.

Real Nappies: I only have one of these. It is very similar to the Thirsties. I received a starter kit off my registry that came with one newborn size cover, one insert, and one flushable diaper liner. I like the size of the cover, it fit her when she was first born when some of the others were still too big. The insert is bulky though and is a prefold so you still have to mess around with folding it.  I haven’t really been using the flushable liners b/c they are more for catching solids and newborn poo is not solid. I think they can be used on any cloth diapering system you want though. I plan to test them again as Sadie gets bigger.

This is still a test in progress. I plan to try out another brand called JamTots. I have also just got a diaper wash from Thirties that I haven’t tested yet. So I will post again about those and the new brand of prefolds to see if they are better than the Gerber.

Cloth Diapers: Pros: easy, not creating extra waste, affordable, save money in the long run, are supposed to help prevent diaper rash. I suggest just letting baby’s bottom air out each day or using one of the extra prefold cloths to wipe her dry before putting on the next diaper as well as using A&D cream to prevent diaper rash.

Cons: extra steps (I rinse out the cloth) extra wash, expensive up front to get all the supplies you need all at once, bulkier on baby than disposable diapers.

Notes about prefolds: prefolds need to be washed a few times to maximize absorbancy, hemp inserts are not supposed to be washed with any other absorbant cloth as the hemp oil can negate their absorbancy.

Picasso Body

I never had a perfect or ideal body. I always had a some fat and some rolls on my tummy. I did not really have TOO many body image issues though. I would have liked to be more fit, thinner, less fat etc. But I could deal with what I looked like.

During pregnancy I was fine with my body. I actually even liked having my baby bump.

Post pregnancy I can’t complain about the weight because I actually lost the baby weight in only 2 ½ weeks. What I can complain about is the fact that my body now looks like Picasso painted it. I am now an abstract. I have a beach ball on one side and a basketball on the other where my perky C’s used to be. They can also often be seen with machine gun points sticking out squirting bullets of milk all over, take cover. There are chicken wings painted where my arms used to be. A layer of cottage cheese has been added to the sides of my bum.  My stomach roll has drooped and become jell-o gigglers shaking all over the place so that my jeans no longer fit properly. Oh and best of all, Picasso has added some stringy spaghetti looking stripes to my lower abdomen, some women refer to this as stretch marks.

I started doing yoga again today. I’m hoping yoga will suffice as a workout but I know I’ll need to add some strength training and ab work (yuck). I hope that thinking of my tummy as jell-o will help motivate me.

Sleep

I laid down to take a nap last week and was shocked that I was not instantly asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was never able to fall asleep that fast before I had a baby, post baby I can sleep while awake. I have a sleeping angel on my lap right now.

I wasn’t against co-sleeping but thought that it wasn’t for us. Hubby cocoons himself in blankets all the way up around his head, so I was always worried that he would suffocate the baby in his shell of covers. I had worried that if the baby wasn’t between us that she would fall off the bed. I got a Moses Basket for her to sleep in next to the bed. It worked great….for a week. Angel baby was not satisfied with sleeping next to the big bed. She demands to be in the big bed. I’ve tried to let her fall asleep on me and then put her in the basket. That lasts for about 5 minutes before she wakes up, demanding to come back. As soon as I pick her up and cuddle her or even just put her in her boppy on the bed, she calms down. Even if she doesn’t go right back to sleep as long as she is on the bed she is calm and quiet (for the most part). I was extremely paranoid about putting her in the boppy at first because it has a big “not for sleeping” tag on it.  But, as anyone with a new baby knows, you will do anything to help her sleep so that you can sleep too. The Moses Basket has not gone to complete waste. It is now used as the buffer between the bed and the floor so that if somehow she pushed herself and the boppy backwards she would just go onto the basket and a pillow instead of falling off the edge of the bed. So now her bed is just a back up plan/safety net. It should be interesting trying to move her into her own room and crib.

And all hell breaks loose

Sadiecakes and I had a pretty uneventful night. Hubby was on night shift so it was just the two of us and Sadie enjoyed sleeping in her Daddy's spot instead of her Moses Basket. In the morning, after cuddling with Daddy for awhile, I was changing Sadie while Chad went to sleep.
Suddenly our peaceful night was over and all hell broke loose. I'm sitting on the floor with Sadie on her changing mat and Chad is trying to get some rest. As soon as I take off the diaper my phone starts to ring, normally I could just ignore it but of course it will wake up Chad if I just let it go off. I run to grab it and silence it. Sadie, who is normally a quiet little baby, decides that this morning she will cry through her diaper change. I try to soothe her while quickly changing the diaper. As soon as I remove the diaper she squirts out a fountain of wet poo. It is projectile. It squirts right over her changing pad and onto the carpet and my foot. I can't avoid loudly gasping in shock and disgust. Well with all that in her no wonder she was crying. I clean everything up and get a new diaper. Sadie proceeds to pee on the clean diaper. By this point the dog is jumping up and down off the bed going between me and Chad, disrupting him I'm sure. Third diaper is the charm. We go into the bathroom to throw out the trash, leaving my phone on the floor in the bedroom. Of course now my alarm starts going off so I have to rush back to turn it off. All this in a matter of minutes. Finally things calm back down.
Sadie is on my lap as I write this. She was squirming around in her sleep, I'm guessing because of gas. Then all of a sudden she stops, a very peaceful look comes over her face, then boom, a huge wet sounding fart with what I assume would have been more projectile poo. Time for a diaper change, hopefully it will be uneventful.

Labor

Here is all the gory details of my labor and delivery. Just kidding…No gory details just the story of how it all went down. This is post is mostly for me as a journal entry but here you have it too.

I had not had any Braxton Hicks contractions throughout my pregnancy so when I started having really mild contractions Monday night, I didn’t even realize what was going on. I thought I was just having some cramping (they were extremely mild contractions at that point). It was only with hind sight that I realized they were actually contractions and not just a bit of cramping. Tuesday morning I woke up with mild contractions again, a little worse than the night before so I knew they were contractions. I only had a few in the morning right when I woke up. But of course they started again right before it was time to leave for the airport to pick up my mom. Hubby had been on night shifts so I woke him up to ride with me. Yes, I drove us all to and from the airport while I was having contractions. I was having back labor as well as regular front labor and since the driver seat in my car has extra lumbar support I wanted to sit there for my back to be comfortable. At home that night, Chad and my mom basically stared at me all night long. I felt like they were waiting for me to spontaneously combust.

I went to sleep at 11pm and woke up with contractions at 1230am. They were worse than before but still not horrible. I was dozing back to sleep in-between them. This was going on for awhile with the contractions getting closer together. I got up for awhile around 3 or 4 am, walked around, sat on exercise/birth ball, went online, then went back to bed. Chad came in to go to sleep too since he needed to sleep all day to go to work for the night shift. My contractions had other plans though. I could no longer lay down or sleep through them. After having 3 painful contractions in 10 minutes, I decided it was time to go to the hospital. I still wasn’t feeling rushed though so I got ready and tried to eat some toast before we left because I knew they wouldn’t let me eat while I was in labor. Since I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, I ended up not having anything until about 3pm Wednesday. By the time the toast was done, my contractions were so intense I felt nauseous. I tried to have one piece then we hit the road.

The hospital is only 5 minutes from our house, which is why I didn’t feel a huge rush to get there in the middle of the night. I went to check in and they asked me to wait outside the maternity ward in the waiting area. I said Hell No. My contractions are only 2 minutes apart I need to be admitted now. They sent me to the triage, where a nurse checked me and I was still only 2 cm dilated. Not good for contractions every 2 minutes. The doctor took his sweet time coming to check on me. Of course I went into labor on the one day that my regular OB is off. So here I am meeting this idiot for the first time and he tells me I should go home since I’m only 2 cm. I wanted to kick him in the head. Then he offers me some drugs, not for the pain but for anxiety. I am not anxious. I am calm and thinking clearly, my clear thought is I want to kick him in the head. I politely decline the useless drugs. Next he tells me to walk around the hospital for an hour and then he’ll check on me again. The nurse agrees with him, I now want to kick her in the head too. So I suck it up and walk around the triage area. Chad is fantastic through my labor, walking around with me, rubbing my back, holding my hair, reminding me to breath and breathing slowly with me so I can time my breaths to his. Who knew out of nowhere he would just know how to be a labor coach? I can only make it from one bed to the next before I need to stop and lean over the bed b/c of the back labor and front contractions.  I get my revenge on the nurse by throwing up on one of the clean beds. Once my hour of torture is up, I am 4 cm and the dumbass admits me.

In my maternity room, I have about another hour and a half of labor. The nurse suggests an epidural to get me dilated quicker, my OB had previously recommended the same thing. I give in and have one. Getting the epidural was much worse in my head then in reality. Once it kicks in everything slows down. I no longer feel my contractions or back labor, Chad takes a nap and my mom goes to lunch. Lalalala me in the hospital bed just waiting. Nothing really happens for the next 2 hours. Then I start to feel a pressure as baby drops down more. I feel that getting much more intense for the next 15 minutes. Just when I don’t think I’ll last any longer without starting to push her out myself, the nurse comes in. She immediately calls the doctor and says it’s time for me to push, guess I was right. I push through about 5 contractions for the nurse while we are waiting for the doctor. They tell you to push as if you are trying to have a BM, which I find very odd and gross, so I tried to focus more on contracting my abs to push. I was actually contracting every muscle in my body to push her out quickly, I was determined. There was no screaming or yelling, I think the only thing I said was asking the nurse if I could push again yet. Chad held my hand between my pushing, again being right there for me and exactly what I needed. The doctor finally shows up at basically my last push, just in time to catch the baby. 15 minutes of active labor and my beautiful Sadie Rosalie was born at 1418. She’s perfect! Great color, no cone head, no spots, absolutely beautiful. 6 pounds 10 ounces, 19.25 inches long.

Master's Degree

Well, I got accepted into the graduate program at UCA! I wasn’t sure if I would because I had applied to go as a part time student and the program I applied for usually doesn’t take part time students. The program is pretty competitive too. They only take on 6-8 new students per year. The group I interviewed in had 8 applicants in it, but they only take a few in the spring and then they take on a few more students during the summer enrollment. Which means I was one of only three or four who were accepted out of this first group.

Of course now I need a background check since the program is School Psychology. It doesn’t seem to matter that I had one last year for my job or that I still have my government Secret Clearance. $50 down the drain.

I’m excited to start in the fall. I am thinking of this summer with my baby as maternity leave and then I’ll have to get back to work (or school in my case). The problem is I’ll just be spending money on tuition and a nanny rather than bringing any money in. Wish me luck that I’ll be able to handle it all.

In over my head

Currently I am 38 ½ weeks pregnant, preparing for labor and our new baby, getting ready to start Grad school, taking care of my hubby (which is a full time job, and if you don’t believe that just talk to me after you’ve been married for 7 years and tell me how dependent on you your husband is for even the simplest things), searching for a house to buy and applying for a loan, still learning about this new area we’ve moved too, and now organizing and running a spouse association for the company my hubby works for.  What exactly am I thinking??  I could have stopped at new baby and still had my hands full.

Mountain View, AR

We went to Mountain View, AR this weekend for Hubby's bday. It is right next to the Ozark National Forest. Actually, it is as close to the national forest you can get without camping. It is about a hour and 45 min drive from where we live. We took this insane mountain road, crazy twists and turns and ups and downs. There were just a few towns we went through to get there. The first town we drove through, literally just outside of our city, was called Pickles Gap. Yes, Pickles Gap. There is a place called Pickles Gap Village. I want to go. Further along, on the crazy mountain road is a town of 300 people. I am still trying to figure out how a town of 300 people, in the middle of nowhere with only one crazy mountain road in and out of it, can sustain itself.

So we checked into our hotel (no B&B b/c they wouldn't take the dog, Jerks.) and went to tour the caverns. They were very cool and beautiful. We were 22 stories beneath the earth's crust. I was sure that was the place I would go into labor just b/c it was so inconvient. Did you know that there is a disease killing off bats all across the US? very sad.

Next we needed to find somewhere to eat dinner. We had seen a sign for a seafood restaurant on the river and thought that had sounded promising. We went to check it out. It was a restaurant/convinent store/ old motel from 1941/ mini golf/ tackle and bait store/ gas station all in one. I definitely think it was the gas station and bait store parts that sealed our decision to not eat there. We ended up at a Mexican restaurant in town. Making me wonder, what exactly possessed a Mexican family to settle in Mountain View, AR a very hillbilly, capital of Folk, town?

The next day we went for a hike through the Ozarks. It was really beautiful. We started off on a trail, but I'm pretty sure it stopped well before we did. Chad insisted that it was still there. I think that when you are in the woods you can pretty much "see" a trail anywhere you want if you are really looking. We hiked for over an hour through trees, weeds, stumps, leaves and along the river on this so called trail. I think it needed a good weedwacking.

Weight

Hubby informed me today that he has "finally lost weight". Finally? I didn't even know he was trying to lose weight. Has he been exercising? No. Has he been cutting calories? No. Has he been eating diet meals? No. Does he still eat frozen pizza? Yes. Does he still eat ice cream? Yes. Does he eat chips everyday with his lunch? Yes. So he is now back down to his ideal thin weight without even doing anything. I hate him. I am now 38 weeks pregnant and have all the lovely baby weight that comes with that. I now only weigh 20 + pounds less than him. I hate him. I want to sit on him, crushing him with my giant pregnant boobs, and force feed him cake and cookies and heavy cream and all the fried food I can find. I hate him. We went to breakfast this morning. He ate a country fried steak with country gravy all over it, grits flooded in butter, biscuts with more gravy and I'm sure some other nasty fat food that would cause my heart to stop and add 5 lbs to my frame. I on the other hand, had yogurt and granola, some eggs and apples, and a muffin (ok the muffin is loaded with butter and sugar and not good for me) and I probably gained weight while he "finally" lost some. I hate him. Luckily for him it is his birthday and so I just went on loving him.

74 is the magic number

Spring has arrived! I am loving the sunshine and not being freezing on my walks with the dog. I’m not having that much of a problem with the heat during the day. The problem comes in the evening when we have to close the back door so bugs don’t come in and the air flow through the house
decreases. We bought screens for the windows so we could keep them open. (We had to buy some b/c like everything else in this rental house the screens were neglected and full of huge holes.) Even with the windows open though the house gets stuffy. Being pregnant, I not only get hot but feel as if I’m overheated, my skin is on fire, my body suddenly feels twice as big, and I feel as if I’m dying of heat exhaustion.

74 degrees is my threshold. It is like that scene in Mission Impossible where Tom Cruise is breaking into that temperature controlled room, he has a thermostat counting the degrees to make sure it doesn’t get too hot. I feel the same way, 73.8; 73.9; 74.0; then 74.1 is reached and the alarm goes
off! I start feeling sticky, overheated, I want to shave my head and soak myself in ice water. Last night I wouldn’t even let Hubby use a blanket over his legs and feet while he was sitting on the couch b/c just looking at it made me hot.

House Hunting

We went looking at 5 houses the other day. A realtor took us around. She was very Southern, she talked incessantly about anything except real estate or the properties we were looking at.

We need to decide if we want to stay in the city limits or move out-a-ways to have more property. The problem with the houses in the city limit are that most of them are in new subdivisions. The houses are all cookie cutter cutouts of each other, they are built practically right on top of each
other, and there are no trees. The good part is that they are new, some are more affordable, and they come with privacy fenced in yards (which we need for the dog b/c she could easily clear a wire fence if she wanted).  The problem with the houses out of the city limits are that they are out of the city limits. That means longer commutes to get anywhere and paying higher prices for utilities. The good things are that we could afford more property, our neighbors wouldn’t be right on top of our
house, and the views are lovely.

Our top choice is a house on 1.4 acres right next to the lake. It is built up on a hill and looks down over the lake. Absolutely beautiful. There were only 2 or 3 other houses on the hill and nowhere else to build right there so we wouldn’t have to worry about it turning into a subdivision. It is just outside the city limits and actually wouldn’t be a long commute for Hubby to get to work but it would still cost more in utilities. It is three bedrooms but we would end up using one of those as a computer/guest/den room, so it is a little smaller than I want. We would need to fence it in and the property is largely sloped down the hill so we wouldn’t have much of a traditional backyard. Oh and did I mention the neighbors owned a goat?

Baby Kicks

With every flutter, kick, punch, wiggle, somersault, push, and reposition my love for my unborn baby grows.

Ok, that being said, yes I have referred to her as a parasite eating me from the inside out and as an alien. The parasite comment was in the first tri, when she was sucking down all my energy like a car from the 70’s guzzling gas. This feeling still applies now in the third tri, but now more that she is sucking on my brain and memory. If it is not baby related, I don’t want to focus. I am sure I am not the only pregnant girl who ever thought of her in-utero baby as an alien. When you are still and all of a sudden your belly starts moving of it’s own accord and you feel something trying to escape out of you straight through your stomach, it is hard not to equate it to an alien.

 

Home is....where?

We are thinking of buying a house.

When Hubby first mentioned this idea, I cried. It was back in January and I was still in my crying stage of pregnancy, everything made me cry at that point. It has taken me until now to consider accepting this idea. As soon as I brought the subject back up, he jumped on the idea and it feels like we are delving right in.

Mostly as an investment, partly because mortgages are cheaper than paying rent. We also hate this rental house that we are in and the agency we have to deal with. The people who own this house took no pride in their home, there are so many problems and issues that could have easily been prevented. We had to find somewhere to live quickly when we moved to AR. With a baby on the way and two pets, I really wanted a house and not an apartment. There were not many homes for rent. I looked at about 6 or 7 in our general price range. Most of them were built in about the 70’s (and still had the paneling to prove it), had tiny kitchens, and not much living space or natural light. The one we ended up in is bigger than we need but most of the others would have been smaller than we needed. Even knowing that I will have much more time to search the market for a better rental property, I am still not optimistic about what will be available for a family with two pets. We had to
pay a deposit for each of them with this place, and I was informed by two different rental agencies that most home owners would not accept cats. It also seems that the ones that do accept cats are prejudice against dogs, so we are screwed either way. I am dreading the idea of having to pack everything up and move as well. At least if we bought a house I could rest assured that we would not have to move ourselves again. When we end up moving out of AR it will be because Hubby’s company has transferred him and they will have to pay for movers so I won’t have to worry about the stress of packing.  We have never bought a house before or even really considered it. I’m not exactly thrilled about buying a house in AR but as we are here now I am just trying to deal with it.

I scream, You scream, We all scream for ice cream

I was at the store today for just a few staples, including ice cream of course. Hubby’s Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream was on sale, excellent. But wait, where is the Edy’s Chocolate? They can’t be out of just regular chocolate ice cream, I must be missing something. Good God! It’s not me, they really are out of Edy’s Chocolate ice cream!!!! What the F kind of place do I live in that there is not a constant supply of chocolate ice cream?? Do they not realize there are pregnant women in this town?? Are they trying to incite a riot??

I was forced to buy a different brand of chocolate ice cream. I am not happy about this. I also bought 2 of the those mini sample size ice creams of Edy’s in different flavors. Having 4 kinds of ice cream prompted the cashier and bag boy to engage me in a discussion about the varied deliciousness of the flavors I chose and the other options that I did not choose. Everyone loves ice cream.

Grad School

I have been planning on continuing on to grad school since working on my bachelor’s. I had looked into schools in Florida but began a full time job in my field instead. I had gotten most of my requirements for application done then. I had 2 letters of recommendation and had my GRE’s done,
which are the most time consuming part of applying. Once I decided to apply to a school in AR all I needed was 1 more letter of recommendation, my transcripts, an essay, and to fill out their application, all easy enough.

I’ve kind of lucked out that there are schools right here in town. Of all the places we could have ended up, there are 3 schools here- 2 universities and 1 college. Again, I lucked out that the big university here offers a master’s and phd program in school psychology.

I have been accepted into the Graduate School at UCA, which means I have met all the general requirements. I have also been accepted through the first round for my specific program, which means I met the general requirements but still have to pass the interview process. The interview is at the end of next week, here’s to hoping I don’t go into labor too early. Of course if I was in labor and still went to the interview, that would just show how devoted I was and they would have to accept me right?

Of course now that I am on the road to being accepted, I am having second thoughts. I have planned from the beginning to only go part time. Baby will only be 4 months old so I know I am not going to be excited about leaving her. I do not want to put her in daycare so we are going to look into
finding a private sitter/nanny. Either choice of childcare will be expensive. Either choice is going to be hard on me leaving my baby in someone else’s care. Even going to school part time is going to be a lot to take on with a new baby in a new area. I know I will not feel like reading textbooks when I’m sleep deprived and my baby is crying. Nor will I feel like writing papers when I could be taking her out for a walk. And not to mention that I would much rather spend money on anything she may need than tuition. I will just need to keep focusing on the long term. By the time I graduate with my degree and get licensed, baby will be old enough to be in school. I will be ready to go to work and hopefully find a good job that will have a similar schedule to my school aged baby. Being a dual income household again will ease financial pressures and we will hopefully be able to provide anything our child will need or want. This all seems so far away though, I am worried about the here and now.

Perks of being Pregnant

There are a lot of symptoms that come along with being pregnant. Most of what is talked about is the morning sickness, swelling, weight gain etc. Well there are plenty of perks too.

To begin, lint brushing off a shirt over a hard pregnant belly is much easier than lint brushing over rolls and the lint hiding in the creases.

Everyone loves a pregnant woman. I get smiled at all the time, no matter what I’m doing or what I look like. I do believe that a pregnant woman could get away with whatever she wanted. I have a feeling I could go rob a bank, and everyone would be like “oh it’s ok, she’s pregnant”.

You get complimented no matter what you look like or what you’ve been up to. I now get told I look pretty just for wearing normal clothes. When people ask what you’ve been doing, you could answer “I’ve been napping all day and stuffing my face with pizza” or “Ran a 5k marathon, worked 80 hours a week, and have cured cancer” and either answer would elicit the same exact response “Oh! Good for you!” and it would be completely sincere.

I have been make-up free since 3/03. I probably didn't need foundation before this either but for whatever reason still felt the need to wear it. My skin tone has miraculously evened out. I do look like I have just had my cheeks pinched for 5 minutes by great grandma mildred, but there is no foundation in the world that will cover up my flamming red pregnancy cheeks.

I also believe that I have picked the perfect time of year to be pregnant. I was with child through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and am due the day before Easter. I was able to indulge in all the sweets associated with those holidays nearly guilt free. The two exceptions to this are New Year’s Eve and St. Patrick’s Day. It sucks to be pregnant on those holidays, which coincidently are my two favorite.

Grocery Shopping

Usually my food shopping trips are rather uneventful. And so was this trip. But, being pregnant and forgetful I ended up wondering around the store aimlessly and back tracking 3 times. I was highly distracted by the fact that there were girl scout cookies for sale out front. As I was leaving the store, already planning my purchase of thin mints, there was a lady in a scooter chair passing by the girl scouts. They asked if she wanted to purchase some cookies, but she was able to resist the temptation stating that she was trying to lose weight. Here is a woman who is too obese to walk on her own and she is able to pass up delicious, only available once a year, girl scout cookies. I on the other hand fell right into these little girls’ devious trap and bought two boxes of thin mints, knowing that I would not share any with my hubby.  I have less will power than a large woman in a scooter chair.

Trying to have some lunch

I went to Panera’s the other day for a cinnamon crunch bagel and cream cheese. Delicious. I was pretty hungry and thirsty when I first got there. I downed some water first and felt better, then dug into my bagel. About half way through I was starting to feel a little full. A few more bites. Ok, no
more, can’t finish. Really? I can’t even finish a bagel for lunch? Not only was I unable to finish but it felt more like I had just spent 5 hours at an all you can eat buffet stuffing my face. This feeling lasted for about 2 hours. Baby needs to make up her mind on whether she is hungry or not. It is not fair to
tease mommy like that.

Also, it was very odd to be in Panera’s without a tea or coffee. Baby may get a dose of caffeine next time I go in.

Arkansas

It is very “Southern” here. The town we live in is a small town in area but has a very large population, yet somehow remains “small”. There is a bare minimum of things to do, there are plenty of fast food
restaurants but hardly any healthy or quality restaurants, the few none fast food places are still southern and cook everything in bacon fat so being a pescatarian here has seriously limited even the sides I can eat. Just being health conscious about not eating vegetables cooked to death in bacon fat would limit what I would be able to eat here. Also there don’t seem to be any groups, clubs or organizations to join. I’m slowly trying to adapt.
The fact that I was 5 months pregnant when we moved into our place here has stopped me from looking for employment. I feel it would be unfair to an employer to make a commitment to a job, then take maternity leave and not be entirely sure if I was even planning on returning to work. Plus, there are no open positions in my field here. I looked into volunteering, but apparently no where wants a preggo to volunteer for them. I can usually find plenty to do to keep myself busy and don’t mind doing things alone, but it would be nice to have connections and friends here before I have a baby.

My hubby was in the Navy for 9 years. I met him when he was in sub school so have basically been with him his entire military career. We first moved to Virginia Beach, VA and then to Cornwall, UK. Both were great stations. I was thinking of my friend who just married her military man, he is in the
Coast Guard. She was expecting Hawaii or maybe Virginia for their next station. Somehow he got the shaft and was sent to Baltimore. My poor friend’s anxiety went through the roof over this yet she had to accept it. I can completely sympathize with her. First off I was upset that they weren’t going to Hawaii, I had wanted to visit. Second off I felt we were in the same boat, giving up our own job to move somewhere crappy for our husbands. It did make me think that things could be worse though. I am at least used to moving and we could have ended up in Texas, which would have been much worse.

Moving

I have moved countless times in my life. It started young with my parents moving often for my dad’s work. I guess it is something I got used to and doesn’t really bother me too much anymore. My last two moves have been rough though. My husband and I left England at the end of 2009. This was
very difficult for me as I loved living there and was pretty happy there. I had good friends, some of whom I met there and others who I knew before we ever moved there. To be able to rekindle friendships with my English friends who I hadn’t seen for a few years was an absolutely wonderful experience for me. The only thing that softened the blow of leaving the UK, was that we were heading to Florida where my dad lived. Florida is basically exactly how you would imagine it. There are palm trees everywhere, everything is built along the coast, and the sun is almost always shining. We lived in an unremarkable area of FL, but it was still FL. I was able to find a great job that I loved doing. I was making a few good friends. I saw my dad more often than I had in the past 6 or 7 years altogether. Life wasn’t so bad.

Unfortunately, my husband did not see things this way. He had originally planned on using his GI Bill to go to school. He did go for about 1 semester but was not thrilled with it and did not want to continue. At the same time though he was not able to find employment in the area. We were
staying at my dad’s house and I think he resented it a little bit. It made sense for us to stay there, especially since my dad and his wife did not live there through the summer months (May-October), but I still think it was hard for him to deal with being in someone else’s house and dealing with other
people when they were living there. Once he decided not to continue with school, he updated his resume, put it online and expanded his job search area outside of our city. It only took about 2 months for a recruiter to find him and set him up with an interview. Long story short, he was offered a job but not in FL. We discussed it and came to the decision to move to Arkansas for this job opportunity. Basically I sacrificed my job, family, and happiness for him to take this job and be happy working again. I have to admit, a very large part of my decision was based on the fact that I was pregnant with our first child. I loved my job but it was with a non-profit organization and would
barely support the two of us, let alone a new baby too. So that is how my second, really rough move ended with me in Arkansas.