Kidney Stones

Oh what fun my crazy pregnancy symptoms were that I just had to keep some of them! I had an ultra sound of my kidneys and bladder during my last month of pregnancy due to some issues I had been having. I got a call from the doc just a few days after delivering that it was indeed a kidney stone. I went back to the urologist this month and had an x-ray to see the stones better. Well the doctor comes in the room, puts the x-ray on the lighted board, and exclaims “Holy Moses! Holy Moses!”, pauses to look back at me then to the x-ray again and gives me one more “Holy Moses!”. He clearly does not have a very reassuring bedside manner.
Turns out what he thought was one kidney stone is actually now 3 fairly large kidney stones. He informs me that I will require a surgery to have a stent put in to help them pass so they don’t get stuck and cause an infection. Wonderful. Just what I need with a 2 month old baby at home that I am the only one here taking care of. I think the hardest part for me to accept is that I’m going to have to pump and then throw away my breast milk because of the anesthesia. That just feels wrong. Breast milk is like the nectar of the gods. It seems like sacrilege to even think about throwing it away. (and no I am not one of those crazy women who thinks breast feeding is the only way, use formula if you want. I am too cheap to pay for something that my body creates for free!)
Hubby has 3 days off when I’m having the surgery so that is great. But since I will have to have this stent in for however long it takes them to pass (looking at a month at least I think), and most people only “tolerate” the stent, my mom is coming to stay. I’m glad she is coming and I know she is secretly happy about this whole situation so that she can come visit her grandbaby. Well keep your fingers crossed for me that I am one of the ones who can “tolerate” the stent.

Working For Me or Against Me?

I have always loved taking care of, playing with, and being around kids even when I was still basically a kid myself. I babysat when I was old enough, I’ve had jobs working with children of all different ages, I’ve even taken college courses in childhood ed. Essentially I have plenty of experience with babies, children and teens. I am wondering now if this is working for me or against me?

I know in certain ways it is working for me. I know how to care for a baby’s basic needs no problem. I can change diapers with my eyes closed. I know about developmental milestones, nutrition, safety, sleep techniques, nature vs nurture etc etc. I’ve taken care of friends babies and children. I have heard all sorts of stories and methods from them and from my working experiences. There is not much that can surprise me.

So what I am wondering is, am I maybe on information overload? With everything in my background I’ve heard of all different contradicting approaches. Plus with modern technology, if there is anything I am not sure about I can just Google it and have 100 different, and most likely contradicting, answers instantly. I sometimes wonder if I am too nonchalant about things. My baby is only 6 weeks old and I feel like she has always been here. I sometimes feel like I am not treating her like a newborn, maybe I am not pampering her enough, being gentle enough, being careful enough with where I have to take her in public. I’ve had two questions so far that I consulted my pediatrician about. The first I asked directly to him and it stumped him. The second I called the office and asked a nurse, who had never been asked that before and so it stumped her. The nurse I am not surprised about, she was young and is probably right out of some nursing program. Are my questions really that complicated or unusual? No. The pediatrician I really like though b/c he was amazing the first week Sadie was born while she was having issues with her bilirubin levels and because he admitted he had never been asked my question before, did research to get me a good answer instead of just trying to pull something out of his ass.  I have decided that I will consult them on medical issues only, take their advice with a grain of salt, and go on my own instincts for everything else. Again this brings me back to wondering if I am being too nonchalant and arrogant. Plus Sadie is an incredibly laid-back baby so she is making this way too easy on me.

I have always known I would be a mom, I am loving every minute of it, I just want to be sure I don’t miss any of it because I am too at ease with my new title of Mommy.

How do/did you feel when you were a first time mom? over prepared, overwhelmed, just right? Where did you go for answers or did you just pretend you knew exactly what you were doing and hoped no one called you on it?